Should have been, could have been
by GigiMusic
Summary: Season 4 AU. You shouldn't be able to simply walk into another universe, right? Rose and Micky discover something bad is going on in Pete-verse and Jack's Torchwood team has noticed the Rift has been acting up. Can the reunited Doctor and Rose figure out what's going on without ripping the wounds of the Time War open? Includes cast from season 1-4 and River Song. Rose x Ten.
1. Prologue

Should have been, could have been

**A/n: This story takes place after the events in the library in season 4 and while the entire cast of seasons 1-4 shows up in this story, River shows up too. Rose and River are my two favorite female characters and I ship both Rose/Ten/Eleven (automatically assuming she continues traveling with him when he regenerates and the meta-crisis doesn't happen) and River /Eleven but I like writing Rose/Ten more than River/Eleven. The reason for this is because to me, while River and Eleven obviously like and care for each other, they're just not as head-over-heels-in love-it's-overwhelming as Rose and Ten are. In a way, to me, Eleven reacts similar to River's flirting as how he would react to captain Jack, would he ever swing that way. So, in this story River play a role as a friend and someone who helps the crew of seasons 1-4 (Ten, Rose, Jack, Donna, Martha, Micky, Sarah-Jane, Jackie, Pete, Wilff, Jake and Ianto, Gwen, Tosh and Owen) and who becomes a friend of both Rose and Ten. There will be no bashing of all the characters mentioned above, especially because I like all of them. (Not a huge fan of Madame De Pompadour, by the way but I won't bash her either). This story will be AU to multiple events from season 4 and Journey´s end and Rose will not be busy racing to the universe to warn the Doctor about the stars going out. After this ridiculously long author´s note (I applaud anyone reading this far), allons-y!**

Prologue- Gallifrey 101

Micky's PoV

I take a seat next to Rose and Jake as I wait for class to start. After ending up in the alternative universe, Rose and I took the Doctor's parting words to heart about 'having a fantastic life' and decided to apply for Torchwood after Rose managed to get her belated A-levels. Currently, we take extra courses for our Torchwood training, together with Jake, especially focusing on the knowledge the Torchwood of this universe has about aliens, science and technology. Having lectures about the Cybermen or even the Slitheen was difficult because of all the memories involved, particularly for Rose but I couldn't help snorting at knowing that Rose and I actually could understand the Doctor's technobabble now.

My musings are interrupted by our teacher who, by the way, looks like Sarah-Jane Smith's twin sister and shares her last name as well. "Today's lecture is about the Dalek race, its creation by Davros on Skaro and the impact of the last of the Time Wars''. I freeze before glancing at Rose. The blood seems to drain from her face the moment our teacher speaks those words.

Time war? I remember the trouble the TARDIS had, having to land here. The Timelords aren't supposed to exist here, nor the Doctor's home planet, nor the Doctor himself. How could the time war have happened? I know how tight-lipped the Doctor was regarding his past, even to Rose but I did know he was one of the key players in the war, turning him into the big-eared PTSD-patient he was when Rose and I first met him. How could the time war have happened here without him? It would have been having the second World War without Churchill. If the Timelords didn't win this war like in my original universe, who would have won here? The Daleks? Looking at my oldest friend and ex again, I realize Rose has drawn the same conclusion.

"What's going on?'' Jake has noticed our worry.

"I'll explain later'' I answer, before looking worriedly at Rose again who, unsurprisingly, isn't thrilled to see pictures of the giant angry pepper pots again.

Jake knows us well enough to know that 'explain later' usually refers to either the other universe Rose and I come from, the Doctor or both.

The content of our lecture does nothing to hide mine and Rose's growing discomfort. It stops at the moments leading up to the time war but the few words that have been mentioned regarding the Dalek's arch enemies makes even me pale with worry.

Rose voices my concern.

"Gallifrey? Rasillon? Either…._he_…and the TA…his spaceship have lied to us about not existing here or this is bad. Really bad.''

I don't voice it out loud but I highly doubt the TARDIS would lie about not being able to land. And as for 'he'….Sure, there have been guys who were interested in Rose since she came here but it's pretty obvious they don't stand a chance against the pinstriped last of the Timelords. Even though the Doctor would rather stop eating bananas for the rest of his current regeneration than admit it, I know him well enough to know that he loves Rose far too much to lie about this.

"I know a way to figure this out". Jake quickly grabs his phone and calls his cousin Shane, who has had the same Torchwood training in the year before Rose, the Doctor and I arrived here for the first time.

''Shane, have you ever heard of the Time War, Gallifrey, Rasillon, Daleks or Skaro?''

"No, what are you talking about?''

Jake quits his conversation with Shane before swallowing nervously. "This is indeed bad, guys. Somehow I've got the feeling information, as well as alien planets from your old universe are bleeding though the cracks of time and space and ending up here, changing Pete-verse.''

One week later Jake's theory and my worst nightmare seems to be confirmed as we see pictures of a group of people wearing red robes and gold headdresses and Mrs. Smith speaks of the Dalek's arch enemies. I've got a growing suspicion I'm rather familiar with a certain member of the species we're discussing today, which is confirmed the moment Gallifrey, Timelords and Timeladies are mentioned.

The lesson is about to get worse, though.

Mrs. Smith speaks of a rebellious young Timelord who steals a TARDIS to travel the universe before he's allowed, as we see pictures of his changing face.

I brace myself the moment a pair of pale blue eyes stare at me as I grab Roses' hand. It's good I'm not in love with her anymore or else I would have been really jealous when I notice how she looks at the picture of the man in leather, shown on the powerpoint slide. I can almost hear his northern accent.

Of course, the situation doesn't improve when the next slide shows up, showing the Doctor's current regeneration. Jake, who had catched on the moment the TARDIS theft is mentioned, looks worriedly at Rose as well.

"This man is known as the last of the Timelords and the Oncoming Storm. However, it's not how he introduces himself normally. His real name is secret for a reason and it is believed silence will fall when the question is asked. Does anyone know his name or at least, what he is known as?''

I let Rose answer this one. It will be the first time she'll not mention him as ''he'' since she has ended up here, along with her parents.

"The Doctor''

The love she feels for him is laced in her voice and she had swallowed nervously before answering.

As interesting as it is to know about the Doctor's past, I feel like I´m betraying him somehow by finding out like this, knowing how secretive he is about the subject. Pictures of his previous companions are shown as well. They are poorly drawn though, as far as I can judge. Only the picture of Sarah-Jane is fairly accurate but I nearly can´t recognize myself. In hindsight, that might be a good thing, considering I have no clue about what the general reaction would be the moment I´m discovered as one of the Doctor´s companions.

Rose and I both snort as we see the picture of who is…supposed… to be Jack. The picture is very poorly drawn and both of us can't help imagining the look of Captain Cheesecake's face if he would have ever seen the very unflattering drawing before he died on Platform 9.

'One companion is a mystery, though. Not much is known about her, other than that she is a blonde human women who looked into time itself and survived, killing the Dalek emperor and an entire fleet in the process, starting the great and bountiful human empire. Does anyone by what name she is known?''

Rose is allowed to answer the question again but the one who answers isn't the woman I've known since I was a child. Her hair looks almost golden and her eyes have a strange white and gold glow. Her voice carries a weight I've never heard before.

"Bad Wolf.''

Mrs. Smith , who doesn't notice the strange change that has come over Rose, nods.

"Correct. Even though the Bad Wolf is cloaked in secrets, the feelings her doctor has for her are not. She is the love of his ninth life, which he sacrifices for her, she is certainly the love of his tenth life and perhaps even the love of all his remaining regenerations. There is a legend known in Norway that he would even burn up stars for her.''

Seriously. Once again I'm glad I'm not in love with Rose anymore because then, this would even be more….wow.

Rose is swallowing her tears back now and I really wish our teacher hadn't announced all of this in the middle of class.

"Rose, are you alright?''

Mrs. Smith finally notices there is something wrong with her.

Of course she isn't, you just told her that the man she loves and misses terribly, is officially known as the love of her freaking life. I can't exactly blurt out that, now, can I? There's no saying what the reaction of Torchwood would be if they found out Bad Wolf is under their employment. Of course I don't say any of this out loud.

''Nothing, it's….hay fever," she quickly lies.

After class, I walk Rose home, neither of us saying a word. Rose storms to her room as Jackie walks up to me.

'Ok love, what's with the grim face?''

'Well, our suspicions are correct. Somehow information that's supposed to be applicable only to our old universe has somehow ended up here.''

"That's bad, isn't it? Even I know that's bad. How d'you know for sure, though?''

"Because we just had an entire lecture about the Timelords that shouldn't exist here. Especially about the one you call 'great big alien lump' and gave your infamous slap once. Oh and by the way, Rose is seen as the most likely love of his thousand-year-old life.''

Jackie curses before telling me to warn Pete while she runs to her daughter's bedroom.


	2. An unanounced guest

Should have been, could have been

**A/N: For those of you who haven't seen Torchwood, Jack and his team (they show up during Journey's end) keep an eye on the rift in Cardiff and fight any harmful alien, especially Weevils, slightly telepathic creatures that eat human flesh. I personally love the show. Martha shows up in the second season too, by the way.**

Chapter 1: An unannounced guest

Jack's PoV

After locking up a stray Weevil in his cell, we eat the pizza Ianto has ordered. We all enjoy our food while Tosh keeps an eye on the data regarding the rift. The rift has been acting up for two months now and we all feel something bad is going on, even though we don't know exactly what. We don't mention it, don't talk about it to each other but the subject weights heavily on our minds, the proverbial pink elephant in the room.

That's when the alarm bells go off. There's an intruder!

We all storm towards the mysterious character, armed and ready to shoot until she turns around and I realize who suddenly has decided to pay a visit, as unlikely, improbable and unbelievable as it is. Then again, this sounds rather ironic coming from a man who has become a fixed point in time.

She is as shocked to see me as I am to see her and I realize she has probably believed I was killed by the Daleks on platform 9 all this time.

"Hold your fire guys, she's my friend! " I yell before facing her.

''Jack…how on earth did you survive?' She asks as she hugs me.

"It's a long story for another time but how….Doc said you were trapped in another universe with Micky?"

The look on her face changes from happy to fearful.

"Oh god, it's true…. Mickey, Jake and I already feared this would happen. I'm back in my own universe!

But Jack, where am I exactly?"

''The Torchwood headquarters in Cardiff. We're a few miles away from the rift and a few feet below the Roald Dahl Plass.''

" Jack, listen, there's a hole in the universe. Information from this universe is somehow leaking into the one I was stuck in, through cracks in time and space. I've been investigating strange energy levels in the top floor of the other universe's Henriks at the Cardiff there and all of a sudden it's like I'm walking though some sort of tunnel and ending up here.''

She saying this as quickly as she can without seemingly taking a breath and every second that passes, she looks paler and paler.

"Rose, are you alright?''

''I feel fine, just a bit dizzy. This is bad Jack, I shouldn't be able to simply walk into another universe when the TARDIS nearly dies when landing there. Warn the Doctor, tell him we….''

She collapses and I catch her before she falls.

"Owen, help her, now!"

"Jack, what on earth is going on? Who is she? Who's that Doctor you have to warn? " Gwen stares at me, confused.

"Yeah and what's a TARDIS and why is she talking about other universes?" Tosh ads. Figures Tosh would be the one who asks about machinery, although I would hardly dub the TARDIS that.

"Jack, she's stable!'' Owen interrupts Gwen's and Tosh's cross examination and I run towards him.

"Jack, are you sure she's human?''

I raise an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah, why?''

''Hate to break it to you but no or at least, not anymore.'' He shoves the scans he made of Rose towards me. Apparently today is filled with the impossible.

Rose has a binary vascular system.

Two hearts.

Something tells me the Doctor doesn't know this yet.

"Walking though that tunnel she mentioned, most likely would have gotten her killed. The only reason she has survived this, is because of her second heart," Owen interrupts my thoughts.

''It looks like the heart of a newborn baby, so I assume she just ….grew it, I guess."

When I hear this I run to the place Rose has shown up from out of the blue, hoping that the tunnel passes as a two-way-street. After all, if Rose decides to talk a walk through that 'tunnel', Micky Smith is sure to follow and I doubt he'll be as lucky as Rose, considering he didn't look into a time vortex. I'm not the Doctor but that would be my first and only explanation for the fact that Rose didn't have a human physiology anymore. Deciding that warning Mickey is more important than giving my other friends an explanation, I nervously go to the spot where Rose entered this universe.

I take a few steps, have a tunnel-like vision for a moment and all of a sudden I'm in a room with a giant window on the third floor, judging by the view at least, while I stare into the blinking eyes of Micky Smith.

"Jack?''

"Well, if it isn't Micky Mouse."

That's all the conformation he needs and he rolls his eyes before hugging me with a smile.

"Hello to you too Captain Cheesecake.''

"It's Beefcake to you."

Micky rolls his eyes again and lets go of me.

''Ok, what's going on here?''

I look at the other people in the room. There's a guy with short blond hair who eyes me and Micky curiously and an older couple. I recognize the woman from pictures and I realize with a start it must be Rose's mother.

''Micky, is everyone here trustworthy?''

''Yeah and all of them know Jackie, Rose and I are from another universe and have met our old travel companion.''

I nod and raise my voice.

"Everyone, I'm Captain Jack Harkness, Rose's friend from Torchwood 3, Cardiff, from Rose's old universe.''

''She's there?''

''Yes ma'm, she's safe. However, she shouldn't be able to take a walk to another universe and I want to stress how dangerous this is.

Everyone, do not follow her. I repeat: do not follow her!''

''Why?''

''Because any normal human being will end up dead. Including you, Micky. The only reason Rose simply fainted instead of died is because she somehow has grown a second heart.''

Micky's mouth drops and Rose's mother, who has just taken a sip of water, spits it out.

''Wait, she actually got superior Timelord biology?''

If I had wanted proof that everyone here knew the Doctor, I had it now.

"I guess so. Anyway, she should be glad because that second heart saved her. How did you figure out what's going on? Rose mentioned information from my universe appeared here.''

The blond guy steps forward and introduces himself as Jake.

"Timelords in general and the Doctor in particular, should not exist here. The same goes for Daleks. Now, all of a sudden, Rose, Mickey and I have lectures about them. Also, Bad Wolf was mentioned.''

I nod, grateful for the information. I knew that originally , the Rose of this universe was a dog, not the blond girl currently on Owen's operation table. Therefore, not just the Doctor and the TARDIS but also Bad Wolf shouldn't exist here. This was worse than I thought.

''So, what's next?'' this question comes from the man that holds hands with Rose's tracksuit loving mother. I remember the Doctor told me that Rose's father lives in this universe and I smile at him.

"I'd say: keep an eye on the strange readings and energy levels that show up here. The rift, a weak point in time and space, has been acting weird for months now and my team is keeping an eye on it as well. Micky, is your phone sonicked?''

He nods.

''Good. You've got my phone number, right? We'll stay in touch and since I'm the only one who can travel between universes, only feeling a little queasy instead of ending up dead, I'll play messager. In the mean time, I'll call Martha Jones, former companion and actual doctor because somehow I've got the feeling this is going to turn ugly.

And of course, I'll call the only man who might have a clue about what the hell is going on here. Rose will be awake again and call any other former companion who might be helpful and right on time, she'll have a reunion with the love of her life.

We all save the day and Rose can make the Doc's hearts skip a beat when she tells him she has two of them as well now and then, they finally sha…er….do what they should have done ages ago.''

I quickly rephrase my sentence, realizing that Rose's parents are in the room and Mickey and Jake snort.

''Sounds like a plan,'' Rose's father says before we all shake hands and I go back to my own universe to explain the situation and answer Gwen's, Ianto's, Owen's and Tosh's questions.

The Doctor's PoV

''What's going on old girl?'' I ask the TARDIS. For reasons unknown she really wants to go to Cardiff.

Right on that moment, Jack's face appears on the screens and a part of me wonders if I've summoned him somehow while thinking of Cardiff.

I greet my old friend curiously. Apparently either he or one of his team members' is more skilled than I thought, being able to make Jack's face appear on the TARDIS computer screens.

On that moment, Donna joins me in the console room as well.

''Hey spacema…Hello, who are you?''

"Hello Doc and _hello _gorgeous, I'm Captain Jack Harkness.''

Donna blushes before introducing herself in a slightly breathy voice and I resist the urge to face palm.

"Jack, what do you want, other than hitting on Donna…and me?''

His face turns serious.

"There's hole in the universe. In my office."

"What?!"

"I took a walk and all of a sudden I'm aboveground in an office in an alternative Torchwood in an alternative universe.''

''What?!''

"It's a good thing I'm immortal because otherwise, that trip would have killed me.''

"What?!''

''Dear spaceman, can you say anything else other than 'what'?''

I ignore Donna and stare at Jack like I've seen a ghost.

"Jack did you see any zeppelins in the sky of that alternative universe?''

''Now you mention it, yes.''

I freeze.

"Oh and by the way, a woman from that universe showed up here in my office. The only reason she survived is because she's got two hearts.''

"What?!''

''Here we go again," Donna mutters as she stares at Jack.

"She fainted but she is fine now. I've talked to her, she seems friendly and I've got the feeling you….are going to absolutely love her.''

My flirty friend looks at me with a grin I'm not sure I trust and I can't help but wonder why he puts so much emphasis on the idea that I would love her while he knows damn well what I feel for Ro….I push the thought of her away, knowing I cannot focus on the issues at hand if I think about her. I briefly wonder if it is her, the woman from the other universe who has shown up at Jack's underground office but I know the chances are so small, my hope is unrealistic.

Donna and Jack have realized I zoomed out again while thinking about my….about Rose and give me sympathetic looks. I force myself to smile and look at Jack.

''This is bad Jack, really bad. Donna and I will come to Cardiff right now. Thanks for warning me. ''

''Ok, see you in a moment!'


	3. Those words never saved

Should have been, could have been

Chapter 2: Those words never saved

Rose's PoV

Freshly revived from the faint, I nervously wait for the TARDIS to appear in Torchwood's underground office. I've fantasized about our reunion often. Usually those fantasies ended with the Doctor confessing his love for me before…well…._dancing._ I try to focus on the issue at hand because obviously, something is really, terribly wrong but at the thought of seeing the Doctor again after I've told him I loved him, the nerves are overtaking my worry.

What if he didn't feel the same? What if he wanted to turn me down gently, preferring Madame de Pompadour over me or because he simply cannot feel that way for me because of a strange Timelord-reason I have no notion of? Jack has told me he was absolutely heartbroken over losing me but still…..

And how will he react when he finds out it is me who has suddenly grown two hearts?

My worries are disturbed by the familiar whooshing sound of the TARDIS and my heart…hearts jump up at the sound. God, I've missed it.

When the Doctor walks out of the TARDIS, I resist the urge to run to him. Instead I watch in the shadows, wanting to surprise him. Another woman with fiery red hair, called Donna apparently, follows him and although I'm glad he's not alone, I sincerely hope those two have a purely platonic relationship. As I watch them shake hands with the Torchwood crew and spot the Doctor rolling his eyes as Jack flirts with her, I realize that they indeed are like brother and sister.

"Ok, what exactly is going on?"

The Doctor looks worried as Tosh shows him recordings of the rift activity and listens to Jack's story about his trip to Pete-verse.

"I admit it's really odd that you suddenly showed up somewhere in a room on the third floor while your office is below-ground but how are you so sure you were in an alternative universe? How did you know?"

Jack gives the Doctor and Donna a grin. The Doctor eyes him warily.

"Well, the fact that I bumped into good old Micky Mouse was a dead giveaway."

The Doctor freezes.

"And of course, the woman who showed up here…."

"Was me," I finish Jack's sentence as I step out of the shadows. Thankfully, my voice does not reflect my emotions as I sound a lot more confident than I feel.

"Hello again.''

The Doctor simply stares at me, mouth open wide. His stare is heated, like I'm the only thing that matters to him in the whole wide universe, before whispering my name and running towards me.

Before I know it, I'm back in his arms, where I belong.

Unfortunately, there's still a hole in the universe and something else fishy going on and forces us to cut the hug short.

I introduce myself to Donna who smirks at me claiming that 'Spaceman had been moping over me for forever'. I've got the feeling we'll get along just fine.

Meanwhile, Jack suggests we use the TARDIS as a doorway between the two universes, opening one set of doors across the console room to enter the Torchwood office and another set of doors to enter Pete's verse. After all, only the Doctor, Jack and I can walk across the two universes and it would be a bad idea if we ended up unconscious every time. On top of that, I notice Jack had grown pale after his trip to Pete-verse and I doubt he could simply walk back and forth without feeling the strain on his health either.

The Doctor quickly moves the TARDIS to the exact spot where I suddenly appeared in the Torchwood headquarters, dragging me along.

I can't help but to feel giddy the moment I enter the TARDIS again, having missed the sentient ship almost as much as her designated driver. Jack and Donna follow us, while Jack's team stays behind to keep an eye on the rift or any other strange alien activity.

The Doctor, who hasn't let go of my hand since he saw me again, beams at me before his eyes grow big.

"Wait a minute! Jack said that the woman who showed up in his office out of the blue, you, grew a second….heart."

He looks at me worriedly and I know he's planning goodness knows how many medical examinations in the medbay instead of focusing on the TARDIS right now.

Deciding it takes less time to simply show him I've got two hearts, I grab his hands to put them on my chest in a way he can feel my double heartbeat, forcing myself not to ponder

about the intimacy of the gesture.

"According to Owen, I did not only grew a second heart the moment I should have died but my lifespan has also increased. I don't know how old I can become, though.''

The Doctor swallows audibly, uncharacteristically silent, before looking into my eyes.

"Rose, I…"

He sounds exactly like he did on Bad Wolf Bay and I almost expect him to disappear again.

He doesn't though.

He breaks.

"Oh Rassilon, help me," he mumbles before softly kissing me. Finally.

The kiss is gentle and sweet, like you'd wish a first kiss to be. Before I know it though, the kiss turns passionate and I groan as his tongue enters my mouth.

He holds me even tighter than he did before as my hands move towards his butt as he frantically kisses my neck before moving back to my lips again. I gasp at the action and I want him more now than I ever did before, which is certainly saying something. Encouraged by the fact that I can feel exactly how much he wants me in return, I roll my hips towards his and this time, he is the one who lets out a groan.

I suddenly realize another benefit of a second heart; with one heart, I would have needed to stop kissing for a moment to take a gulp of air but now, I can continue kissing him like I've wanted for years.

Meanwhile, our kisses have turned from passionate to desperate, with bumping noses and teeth clashing. The facts that there are others on board to research a gap in the universe with us, have been long forgotten as I gently tug my Doctor's hair as we make out.

Jack's PoV

"So, that's…?"

"Rose, the woman he's desperately in love with? Yeah." I finish Donna's question as we look at the console.

Thankfully, everything goes according to plan; the TARDIS can indeed be used as a pathway everyone can use to go from one universe to the other without having to fear medical repercussions or death. I open the door and smile at Micky.

"I've brought help.''

He eyes the TARDIS with a grin.

"I can see that. Where are Rose and the Doctor?"

''Look over there,'' Donna nudges me.

I smile as she points towards the two lovebirds, who are apparently busy on catching up on years of sexual frustration. Both of us aren't sure whether to laugh or roll our eyes at our friends. It seems they have completely forgotten Donna and I are there, judging by the fact that Rose's legs are currently around the Doctor's waist and he has his hands on one of her breasts as they snog.

''Please don't tell me they are about to shag on the console," Donna mutters and I've got the feeling that's what they already would have been doing now if it weren't for us being there.

Micky looks inside the TARDIS and raises an eyebrow as he watches his best friend and ex-girlfriend make out with the Timelord.

"Ok, who's going to break them up?"

''Let me guess, the Doctor has finally become my official son-in-law?'' The voice of Jackie, who's standing outside the TARDIS, is loud enough to be heard in the console room.

Realizing my two love struck friends are going to be really embarrassed if Rose's mother walks in on them, Donna, Mickey and I decide to break them up.

"Ahem, as glad as I am that you've finally decided to do something about the sexual tension between you two that was so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw, I do think you might want to pick another time.''

"Oi Spaceman, Rose, as happy as I am for you that you're reunited, I have no desire to see my best mate shagging his girl on the console," Donna adds.

"Me neither mate. Come on, before Jackie interrupts the two of you''.

At Micky's words , the Doctor and Rose manage to pull away from each other. Both are rather spectacularly red, look thoroughly snogged, which is of course the case and the Doctor is accidently wearing Rose's pink lipstick as well.

Donna laughs as she hands the slightly dazed alien a handkerchief before we all leave the TARDIS and the Doctor nervously greets his parents-in-law.

"Thousand years old and he's afraid of his mum-in-law," Donna whispers to me and Micky and we laugh as we watch the blushing couple.

Somehow I've got the feeling this will be one of the last times everyone is laughing and happy. None of us have forgotten something bad is going on and we're about to find out what it is. I remember the Doctor's face when I warned him. I've never seen him so worried as he was back then and if he's worried and nervous, I am afraid of what's coming because it will not be pretty.

''Need some help everyone?"

My gloomy thoughts are disturbed by three people who walk out of the TARDIS. Well, three people and a tin dog, to be more precise. I smile as I hug Martha before looking curiously at her two companions. The woman who presumably owns the tin dog looks older and has brown hair and a friendly smile. The other woman, who is dressed stylishly in a long trench coat and has curly hair, gives me a flirty smile.

The older woman and the tin dog, Sarah-Jane and K9, are enthusiastically greeted by Rose and the Doctor but the latter looks obviously surprised to see the woman with the curly hair standing there, before he gives her a hug as well. She beams at him and at Rose before realizing my blonde friend doesn't know who she is.

''Oh well, that's what you get for traveling backwards in time," she mumbles sadly before introducing herself.

"Hello, I'm professor River Song."


	4. Don't save me

Should have been, could have been

Chapter 3: Don't save me

River's PoV

We use the gateway through the TARDIS that has appeared in Jack's Torchwood office. I nervously step inside, together with Martha and Sarah-Jane, who look at me curiously. It's good to be back, although it is a version of the sentient ship I'm not really familiar with.

Despite everything that has happened, I look forward to see the Doctor again, even though it's a younger version, not the man with the bowtie and the ridiculous love for fezzes I've come to know so well.

And yes, I look forward to see Rose Tyler again as well.

The last time I saw 'my' version of the Doctor, my parents had just died, touched by a weeping angel.

The last time I saw 'my' version of the Doctor, the TARDIS warned me. Something bad was going to happen in my future and the Doctor's past. It would influence the time lines. Although it wouldn't cause such a large damage the Reapers would show up, it would certainly influence my marriage.

As dangerous as the situation currently is, I allow myself to wonder what influence it would have on my life.

In the original timelines, Rose would live in an alternative universe with a meta-crisis version of the Doctor. Donna would lose her memory and cannot be near the Doctor again. The Doctor regenerates and moves on and then, once upon an aborted timeline, will marry me.

Now, Rose hasn't returned deliberately to warn the Doctor about the stars going out because they aren't. There will not be a meta-crisis and Donna will not lose her memory. Rose has grown a second heart and will live for far much longer than a normal human woman.

In my original timeline, the Doctor offered Rose a part-human version of himself because he couldn't grow old with her, whereas the meta-crisis could. The Doctor knew that if he had to watch Rose die, even if it was from old age, he would become just as depressed, angry and volatile as he was before he met her, or when he had lost her the first time. He would take unnecessary risks, like he did when he had just met Donna and Martha. He might even turn into the Valiard, a version of the Doctor that had all of his bad character traits and none of his good.

As the last of the Timelords, with his responsibilities, he couldn't let that happen, no matter how much it broke his hearts. So, he let Rose go.

But did he?

Truly?

I told my mother how I never let him show the pain. Never showed him how much it hurts.

My mother believed I was simply referring to the fact that our timelines aren't linear but I wasn't. I was also referring to the fact that I knew he was always holding something back. Always remained silent about certain subjects. Always stopping himself from fully giving himself to me. Never sharing everything.

By that, I don't mean the Time war and the horrors he has seen there. I also don't refer to his tendency to never fully explain everything to me, my parents or any other companion, out of his need to protect us and to play the hero.

I talk about the little things he did and didn't do. How he offered me all the flowers you could possibly imagine every time he visited me in Stormcage, except for the most romantic ones. Roses.

How he always flinched when certain words, events, places were mentioned. It might be almost a good thing I didn't grew up in the TARDIS, because something tells me the Doctor would not react well to my mother reading Little red riding hood and the Big Bad Wolf to me as a bed time story.

How he hesitated before marrying me.

How he refused to bring my parents to Norway and me to Women Wept.

How he suddenly looked very guilty when we were watching a documentary on the telly and Madame De Pompadour was mentioned.

Don't get me wrong, I know he loves me, in his own way. And I will always care about him. However, I do not know if, in the end, he loved me more than he loved Rose. Still loves Rose.

If he had to chose between her and me, who would he chose? I don't know the answer and I don't wish to know either.

However, I do think he would have been less hesitant in his choice to marry me if it wasn't for her.

I don't know if my marriage in that aborted timeline will happen now or that I'm the only one who will remember.

I do know that the Doctor will know me less and less and it will kill me. Something tells me that moment has already happened to me in his timeline. I can tell by the way he and Donna look at me.

I don't regret anything.

I loved our time together and even if I'm the only one who will have the memories, I don't mind. Because it was fun while it lasted but I know it could never last forever. I hope he gets his forever with Rose now.

If it had to be someone else, I'm glad it was a woman who is a sister to me and to whom I will become a sister as well.

I simply refuse to play second violin. I accepted it before I knew the truth but in the end, if I'm truly a second choice, it won't be something I accept for the short period I still have.

I knew all of this when the Doctor, the one with the bowtie, asked me to travel with him after I had lost my parents.

That's why I refused.

Because I had to visit another woman. The only woman who could truly relate to how I feel.

Rose.

Although, Sarah-Jane could probably relate as well, I think as a look at my travel companion. Even though the Doctor was a thousand year old going on seven sometimes, he did know how to make an impression.

As for Rose, she'll remember me sooner or later. As for now, I'm a free woman again and the Face of Boe is quite dashing before he turns into a giant head. Then again, if there was anyone I'd picture to become just a head, it would be Jack Harkness.

Rose's PoV

I curiously look at the woman in front of me.

"So you travel backwards in time?" But isn't that difficult? Emotionally, I mean? You can never tell too much and have to keep a lot of things secret, or else the Reapers would come."

Professor River Song nods.

"It isn't always easy, certainly. However, it s a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the fantastic life I'm living."

Well, I can relate to that.

"River….Can I call you River? You know me in the future?"

"Yes, I do and yes, you can."

"Can you tell me if we're friends? Or is that too dangerous for you to say?''

River smiles at me.

"Oh I can guarantee you Rose, we are friends."

"I look forward to that."

We are interrupted by the Doctor, who asks us to gather in the control room of the TARDIS.

I look around at our group: Jack, Mickey, who is staring with a smile at the woman named Martha, Donna, Sarah-Jane, K9, River and I. My parents and Jake follow.

Ten people and a tin dog.

I can't even imagine how lonely my…the Doctor is but doesn't he realize all of us are his family? How we're willing to be alongside him to save the universe? In the present, past and future?

Hopefully he realizes it now.

"Alright everyone, what do we know? We can figure this out together."

"It can create a pathway between two universes, through the void," I pipe up.

"Walking from one universe to another can kill a human being," Martha adds.

"It can create a hole in the universe, which seems to show up randomly in someone's office," Donna winks at Jack.

"Information from one universe can bleed through the hole and end up in another one," Mickey adds.

"Whatever it is, it influences the Rift on one side and gives off strange energy readings on the other," Jack points out.

"The hole doesn't show up on the same place in the two universes. One end of the pathway ends up in a basement and the other on the third floor of a skyscraper in Cardiff, doesn't it?" Sarah-Jane adds before looking through the window of the TARDIS curiously.

"If this…whatever it is, influences space, does it influence time as well?"

The Doctor has grown pale at River's question. When we were listing all that we know, he had grown uncharacteristically silent and I had wondered what was going on. The haunted look on his face is one I know well. One we all know well.

It is reserved for the memories of the Time War. Suddenly I realize what is going on.

"Doctor, the Daleks weren't the only species you fought in the Time war, didn't you? There were others as well. Are the aliens that have caused this, have this amount of power, your enemies from the war?''

He swallows heavily.

"It could be. There are only four species in the universe, the multiverse even, who have the power to cause this, which is exactly the problem. One of those species, are the Timelords. The other three, my enemies. ''

He swallows heavily again before continuing.

''They're all supposed to be dead.''


End file.
